Horoscope (November 11)

Lex Smith –

88% Accurate Horoscope

Aries: By now your pumpkins are old and gross. Trade them in for pies!

Taurus: You will find yourself craving things with peanut butter in/on it.

Gemini: The Wi-Fi fairies are feeling generous toward you.

Cancer: When you do that stupid thing you’ve been thinking about doing, do it with style.

Leo: Loud noises come from your room. Try to keep them muffled next time.

Virgo: Did you try setting it to wumbo?

Libra: Somebody back home misses you.

Scorpio: Wash your sheets you skank.

Sagittarius: Remember, being ‘cool’ doesn’t mean walking around in shorts and a t-shirt when it’s only 20 degrees outside.

Capricorn: Are you ever going to eat that?

Aquarius: The internet says you have a smart brain. We all know the internet doesn’t lie.

Pisces: Everybody knows Pisces ain’t cool unless they pee their pants.

 

Lex Smith, from Beardstown, Illinois, is a junior majoring in physics and chemistry. Lex is the treasurer and official horoscope-creator of The Rambler.

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