Ladies’ Choice

Jordan Washington –

“Should I, or shouldn’t I?’’ or “Would I seem weird?” Lately, those are the expressions that I’ve been asked repeatedly.

From female family members, to some of my girlfriends, the big question that’s been plaguing them is, “Should I make the first move on a guy that I like?” These days, it has become more socially acceptable for women to make the first move when it comes to possible romantic interactions, however, there are still some out there who prefer traditional values when it comes to this.

It is totally okay for a girl to make the first move. If a girl is really interested in a guy, they have every right to go and get to know them on a deeper level, unless they’re already in a relationship. We live in a society that is getting more progressive by the day, and that’s a big benefit for a woman. Women are becoming less domesticated and are beginning to have a “I know what I want and how to get it” type of attitude.

relationship readiness

These past decades, romance has been fueled by female’s thoughts and desires and a male’s actions. For example, a girl can think of how cute her and so-and-so would be together, but it’s all up to so-and-so to do the actions, such as asking the girl out. All the pressure goes directly to the guy, which I feel isn’t fair. I’ve met too many girls who would tell me that they liked someone, but that they wouldn’t make a move because “That’s his job.” We need to give guys a break. If a girl likes a certain guy, they should be able to go after that person without feeling that they’re in ‘the wrong.’

Feelings aside, girls should weigh out the pros and cons of why they want to approach that guy they like. For example, a girl should find out if he is a nice person, and see what his personality is like. Girls should also see if the guy that they fancy seems interested in them as well. Females don’t have to go up and ask him, but there is something called body language that helps with finding out if he might. For example, any type of eye contact that lasts longer than a couple seconds and if you notice him paying more attention to you in a public space, like you can be talking and you notice that he is hanging onto every word you say.

Other than body language, a girl can always go for the direct approach. I know how nerve wracking it can be to go and talk to someone that you like. Girls can get nervous and sometimes tongue tied wondering if what they’re about to say is going to make any type of sense. Before you go and say anything, take three big breaths and give yourself a mini pep talk. Then, go talk to them and remember that either way it goes, you’ll come out of it just fine.

All in all, if a girl likes a guy, she should definitely be able to go and approach him because sometimes, guys can move a little slower than girls when it comes to the romance department. Don’t let great opportunities pass you by because of socially constructed gendered behaviors.  Ladies, if you like a guy, go and let him get to know your most beautiful self!



Jordan Washington, from Olympia Fields, Illinois, is a junior majoring in English with a double minor in Music and Communications at Illinois College. Jordan is a opinions writer for The Rambler and is a member of Forte and Wind Ensemble.


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