Hug me, like I want to be Hugged

Jordan Washington –

I feel as if this is the only thing that really bothers me. When people give ‘half hugs’.

I mean when you hug someone and the other person pats you on the back when all you want to be is squeezed so tightly in return. I hugged family members and friends who do this and I question them, “Why the half hugs?”

It’s scientifically proven that ‘actual’  hugs make us and our bodies feel good. They’re also good for preventing unwanted stress and sickness from coming our way as well, according to Shio Rea from Carnegie Mellon University. They could even depend if someone determines whether they’ve had a good or a bad day.

My question is: why aren’t half the people in my life contributing to that ‘feel goodness’?

I do have some people in my life who don’t like giving hugs and I’ve always labeled them as crazy. How could you not like hugging someone? That’s like someone saying that they don’t like to smile! I have resorted to hugging my huge teddy bear from when I was little as a last resort if I just ‘hugged’ someone and they didn’t ‘hug’ me back. If you’re not going to hug me the way I want to be hugged, then don’t bother hugging me at all. My body doesn’t have time to anticipate that ‘feel goodness’ only to get nothing  but a feeling of slight emptiness in return.

Next time you want to hug me, put some effort into it! Don’t just pat me on the back like you’re one of my elderly family members. Hug me like I hug you. Not too tight, but not too loose; just right.

Hugs, to me, symbolize how much you care about someone. If you call yourself a ‘best friend’ of someone and you only give half-hearted pats and disguise them as hugs, I can’t help but think that you don’t really care about them as much as you say you do. My parents love me and they show it. There are no such things as ‘love pats’ when it comes to hugs in our household.

With my best friends back home, it’s the same concept. You can just tell how much one really cares about you by their non-verbal actions and how they do those actions as well. Yes some people may not like giving hugs for some odd reason, but they can’t just fake it for a bit? Sometimes faking it till you make it will do nothing but save yourself from harsh side glares.

I’m not sorry for writing this mini rant, but you should be sorry for giving half-hearted ‘hugs’. Help spread that warm, fuzzy feeling with others by hugging properly. I do not dislike these people who give me half-hearted hugs, but I suggest that you get ‘hugucated’.


Jordan Washington, from Olympia Fields, Illinois, is a junior majoring in English with a double minor in Music and Communications at Illinois College. Jordan is a opinions writer for The Rambler and is a member of Forte and Wind Ensemble.

Jordan Washington


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